Conversations . . .

27 May

Hello – with your permission, I’m going to deviate slightly from my usual blog theme for this week – all about writing/publishing  books, etc. I say slightly because it’s still about writing, but it’s my own writing that I’d like to get ‘out there’ – somewhere in cyber-space.

Our country has been under a siege of words during the last year or so, and most of them are connected to race in some fashion. A popular theme is ‘we need to have a conversation about race.’ Yes, that is important, but I believe it overlooks a much more basic need. There is entirely too much prejudice in our world. Everyone wants to be able to look down on someone, which is ridiculous. We’re all human beings, with a wide variety of differences among us. Each difference seems to allow someone else to say nasty things which are then picked up and magnified — beyond all sensibility.

Sometimes, however, I write humorous pieces, too. And there’s more than one review from the past 12 years that I think deserves a wider audience. You will be able to find these pieces in a new tab in the upper right corner on the opening page of this blog. That tab is called  Odds-n-ends. Or you can click on this link, if you wish.

https://bookmechanic.wordpress.com/odds-n-ends/

There is no set timing for these to appear, just whenever I happen to think of it, and I will not send out announcements as I do for the regular every-two-weeks new items at BookMechanic.  Thank you all for your continued watchfulness, and please do come back in two weeks for the next ‘Write-a-Book’ segment about naming your characters.  So now, without further ado, I give you your laughs for the day! Enjoy – and thanks to Dr. Bob for having sent them on to me.

Puns for Educated Minds

  1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  1. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  1. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
  1. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  1. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  1. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  1. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  1. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  1. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  1. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  1. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  1. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
  1. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  1. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
  1. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  1. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  1. A backward poet writes inverse.
  1. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
  1. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
  1. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
  1. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’
  1. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, ‘Dam!’
  1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
  1. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says, ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
  1. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
  1. A geologist exploring an earthquake fell to his death through no fault of his own.
  1. There was a person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in-ten-did…

As always, comments and/or questions are welcome: bookmechanicATgmail.com

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One Response to “Conversations . . .”

  1. Thor May 27, 2015 at 2:47 pm #

    As we all know, not all puns bear repeating. (Said the bear, again…) But these are great! I had heard several of them, but there’s some gems. Thanks for sharing!

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